As I Search the Holy Scriptures: Book of Mormon Challenge 2018

For the next few months I'll be sharing the thoughts and impressions I receive as I read and study the Book of Mormon with the goal of finishing it by the end of the year as well as a special emphasis on what it says about Jesus Christ.

My heart swells with love and joy when I read these simple words. "[To] the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that JESUS is the CHRIST, the ETERNAL GOD, manifesting himself unto all nations."
1) It's a testament and testimony of our Savior, who makes my heart rejoice.
2) The phrases "convincing of the Jew and Gentile" and "manifesting himself unto all nations" are so exciting because the purpose is for the entire world to hear the gospel preached and to come to know the Savior, no matter where they're from or who they are. Jesus didn't come to save a select few. He came to save us all.

It's truly a work of love and power that these records were "hid up unto the Lord, that they might not be destroyed--To come forth by the gift and power of God" when the time had come for the gathering of scattered Israel to begin.

I haven't even started reading the actual book yet and I'm so overwhelmed by how much the Lord loves His children. He sent His Son to pay the price we never could. We are worth redeeming and in addition to the work the Savior did, we are also blessed with records to learn from so that not only can WE know Jesus for ourselves, but we can share Him with the entire human family too.

As I read the Book of Mormon again, preparing for the new year and responding to the prophet's invitation in October's General Conference, I've specifically asked to be guided in my study of the bible as well, and to gain a testimony and love for it as I read both precious accounts of God's work among the children of men on the earth.

I'm so excited to have the opportunity to keep learning of my Savior and growing in love for Him. To become more like Him every day through the power of His atonement and the word of God.

"Here's my heart, oh, take and seal it"

Oh, the journeys we take in life. The things we learn, the things we forget. The things we learn again, and promise to remember this time. The mistakes we make, the heartache and pain we feel. The joy we find when we look beyond ourselves.

Part of me has held onto a fear that this time will be like the last time, and the time before that. That the conviction and faith of today will dissolve at the first real test, or the second, or the third, like it always has in the past. It seems like I've been here before, wanting to know my Savior and living my life with that goal in mind, but I lost that heart every time. What's to stop it from happening again?

What the Spirit whispers to me in the midst of my fear is this: "You were never truly converted before. But you are now. You know this. Cling to it and let not your faith be shaken by tempests without or within." And I trust him. Maybe that voice that whispers doubt isn't even mine anymore. Satan is an excellent liar. I hear thoughts in my head that sound like mine and I assume they must originate with me. But sometimes they don't. Sometimes I need to give myself more credit.

Because I do know, don't I? That this time is different from all the others because this time I came to Jesus shattered into a million pieces that no amount of tape or glue could hope to repair. This time I was ready to let Him enter into all the rooms in my heart and mind I'd kept locked away before. This time I rejoice when I face the pain of acknowledging what I am, because I know it means Christ is changing me. He's not just putting me back together, He's building something new. I can see it, and I can feel it, and I can trust it.

Some of the same things are still hard for me. They don't come from deep brokenness or insidious lies I believe about myself and my God. They're simply human weakness, and with effort and God's grace I will overcome them. I believe that, because my heart is not my own anymore. I want my life to match. Little by little, day by day, the dramatic changes within my heart are manifesting outwardly.

I know it will take time to be the kind of person I want to be in more than just intent. I have a lot to unlearn still, and much yet to learn. I'm just grateful to have a Savior leading me through it all. And I'm grateful my Lord can use my years of rebellion to draw me even closer in the end.

I know Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of mankind. He is MY Savior. I know He lives, and loves me. And I know His grace is sufficient even for me. I am not alone. I am not worthless. I am a precious child of God. We all are. YOU are. You are loved, cherished, valued beyond measure. No matter how dark your path may seem, you are not forsaken. Jesus is waiting with open arms and healing hands. Come unto Him and be made whole. I promise it is worth it.